By Lee Robinson, Edmen Recruiter & former Youth Worker Before I joined Edmen as a recruiter, I spent years as a Youth Worker. It was tough, rewarding and raw. I met a lot of young people who had already lived through more than most adults. But something that came up time and time again - especially with the young boys - was this warped idea of what it means to be a man. In Australia’s residential care homes, many young people are healing from experiences of violence, neglect and trauma. Among the complex factors shaping their world, one dangerous undercurrent continues to surface: toxic masculinity. This isn't just a buzzword. It's a destructive set of beliefs that normalises control, aggression, emotional suppression and dominance - particularly in how young men are taught to see themselves and others. Youth workers, especially male-identifying workers, are in a powerful position to break that cycle. The stats tell a story According to the 2024 Queensland Children in Care Census, over 12,500 children are currently in government care, with more than 2,200 in residential care - a figure that has nearly tripled since 2015. Alarmingly, the census revealed that: 11% of children in out-of-home care experienced sexual abuse 46% experienced physical abuse 88% experienced neglect These are young people who’ve had their trust broken over and over again. They’ve seen what happens when power gets used the wrong way - especially by men. And then they meet us. Youth Workers. What we say and do matters. Especially if you’re a bloke like me. Netflix's "Adolescence" and the digital influence dilemma The recent Netflix documentary series Adolescence holds a mirror up to the lives of young boys around the world and how their development is being shaped by social media, misogyny and a hunger for belonging. One recurring theme? The rise of online influencers like Andrew Tate, whose brand of hyper-masculinity glorifies aggression, control over women, and emotional detachment- presented as a blueprint for "success" and "alpha status." His videos have been viewed billions of times, often on platforms young people frequent daily. In residential care, where many young people are already struggling with identity, trauma, and belonging, the appeal of figures like Tate is real - and deeply concerning. That's why the presence of healthy, grounded, emotionally intelligent male role models has never been more critical. How Youth Workers can disrupt the cycle One thing I want others thinking about this work to know: you don’t need to have it all figured out. I certainly didn’t. But being there, being honest, and being respectful - that’s what matters most. Here's how youth workers can challenge toxic masculinity and help young people - regardless of gender - redefine what it means to be strong, safe and respected: 1. Show that vulnerability is strength Toxic masculinity teaches young people that crying is weak or that talking about feelings is "soft." Youth workers who show up authentically- who admit when they're tired, frustrated, or emotional-plant the seed that all feelings are valid. "You don't have to 'man up' here. You just have to show up." 2. Model respectful relationships Many young people in care have never seen a respectful relationship- especially between men and women, or among men themselves. Youth workers who communicate calmly, resolve conflict without aggression and treat others with dignity model an entirely new way to relate. 3. Call it out - Gently and consistently When a young person repeats something rooted in misogyny, homophobia, or outdated gender roles, it's a chance to reflect, not shame. "Where did you learn that?" "How do you think that makes someone feel?" "What do we want to stand for in this house?" These small course-corrections create long-term change. 4. Proactively talk about respect, relationships and consent We can’t assume young people “just know” how to behave in a healthy relationship -especially if they’ve never seen one. That’s why we need to have the conversations before the crisis happens. Talk openly about respect, personal boundaries, consent, and emotional safety in relationships. As a former Youth Worker and someone who’s worked with The Rite Journey - a school-based program that supports teenagers in their shift into adulthood - I’ve seen firsthand how structured, honest dialogue can empower young people to be more self-aware, respectful, and resilient. When we give them the language and tools, they’re better equipped to navigate real-world situations with confidence and care. 5. Be there, every day For some young people in residential care, their youth workers are the first safe and reliable adult male role models they've known. Just being present - calmly, consistently and respectfully - is a powerful form of healing. Looking ahead As Adolescence highlights, young people today are bombarded with toxic messages about identity and gender - often before they're old enough to understand the consequences. In combination with histories of abuse or neglect, this makes them vulnerable to adopting harmful beliefs that can affect their futures, relationships and wellbeing. But in every shift, every conversation, and every moment of connection, youth workers have the power to offer something radically different. One where strength means respect. Power means kindness. And being human means being real. So if you’re thinking about becoming a Youth Worker - especially if you’re male - just know this: you’re needed. More than ever. And if you’re already doing this work- thank you. Keep showing up. Keep doing the quiet, powerful work of being the kind of man these young people can look up to, not fear. Sources: Queensland Children in Care Census 2024 Netflix Documentary Series: Adolescence (2024) News articles on Queensland's child safety system